PRINCIPLE 9 Build security by teaching trust. Don’t teach distrust by being undependable or inconsistent. “Look at this dolly, Cameron” says her mother as she tries to get 12-month-old Cameron involved in the dress-up area. The two have just arrived and this is the first day for the mother to leave her daughter. The caregiver approaches, says hello and then gets down at Cameron’s level and the baby looks at her. Cameron has visited the center several times and recognizes the caregiver, but she’s never stayed in the center without her mother. She now smiles happily and holds out a doll to show the caregiver. When the caregiver stands up to talk to the mother she discovers the mother is gone. She had said earlier that she couldn’t stand to see her daughter cry, so apparently she just decided to sneak out. Cameron continues holding the doll but then she looks around and can’t find her mother. At first she looks puzzled, and then she begins to cry. She ends up wracked in sobs and the caregiver has a hard time comforting her. She decides to speak to the mother at the end of the day and tell her about the importance of saying good-bye so that her daughter can predict when she is going to leave. In her experience children who have no good-bye ritual can’t relax because they never know when people will come and go in their lives. She knows that trust is an important issue for Cameron and she knows it will take time. The first step is to get the mother to say good-bye. Imagine that you are this caregiver:

1		How do you feel about the mother’s behavior?
2		How do you feel about Cameron?
3		How do you feel about the situation?
4		Do you agree that the caregiver should talk to the mother? Why or why not?
5		Could the mother’s behavior stem from a cultural difference?
6		What else might you do to help Cameron establish trust? Related Web Links