PRINCIPLE 6 Be honest about your feelings around infants and toddlers. Don’t pretend to feel something that you don’t or pretend not to feel something that you do. The caregiver believes part of her job is to help children with their feelings. She models being congruent—that is, showing what she really feels rather than pretending everything is okay when it’s not. She doesn’t show strong feelings in such a way that the babies are frightened, but she believes that if you are annoyed you shouldn’t pretend not to be. One of the mothers in the program who is of a different culture from the caregiver always has a little smile on her face, no matter what happens. The caregiver can never tell what she is feeling. The caregiver tells her about Principle 6 and asks if she believes in it. The mother explains that in her culture equanimity is always goal. Showing emotions is bad because it disrupts group harmony. She says that she wants her baby to learn to control his expression of feelings and she’s working on teaching him how. The caregiver worries that she might be doing harm to the baby, but at the same time she believes in cultural sensitivity. The caregiver’s goal is to bridge cultures. She seeks to understand the mother’s point of view so together they can figure out what is best for the baby.

1		What do you think?
2		Is there a way you can see both points of view—the caregiver’s and the mother’s?
3		Is there one point of view that is more comfortable than the other for you?
4		Do you think these two will be able to understand each other and figure out what’s best for this baby in this situation? What would it take for that to happen?
5		Can the baby learn both ways of being and eventually operate in two cultures equally well? If yes, what would it take for that to happen? If no, why not? Related Web Links